Is my Time Up?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well
make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years.
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"



(You'll love this)







God replied:

"I didn't recognize you!" ......


moral of the story: Love the physical feature you have now. You were created beautifully by the Lord. In fact you were created out of His own image and likeness.

Corporate Lessons

In a world where only change is constant , we must know how to adapt in order to survive.
So, we will be going through change.. Here’s three lessons from large corporations to help you survive change….

CORPORATE LESSON 1
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: "Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, Jumped on the rabbit... and ate it.

Moral of the story is….
To be sitting and doing nothing you must be sitting very, very high up.

CORPORATE LESSON 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull."
I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.”
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the treeSoon he was spotted by a farmer Who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

CORPORATE LESSON 3
A little bird was flying south for the winterIt was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came byand dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut